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Archive for September, 2009

Soul Week – Decoding the Meaning of Mind/Body Symptoms

Monday, September 28th, 2009

The Ways Soul Speaks

Soul speaks to us in many ways – through dreams, visions, inspiration, mystical experience. She also tries to awaken us through painful memories, negative patterns, mind-body symptoms – as well as other signs of stress. Since she often speaks in symbols, it can be difficult to discern what her messages mean; that is part of her mystery. Yet, she is always there guiding us on our journey to awakening.

Why Ted Twitches

Ted from NY, NY writes:

Dear Spirit: I hope You can help me. I have a facial twitch, which drives me crazy. It usually happens every few minutes and sometimes more than that. I have tried hypnosis and it didn’t work. Is there something I can do to stop it?

-Ted D.

Ted: My brother was the clear favorite. My mother used to criticize me by comparing me to him, and my father used to slap me for not measuring up.

Spirit: I am sorry you had such a painful childhood; though you gained many gifts by your tendency to seek solace within. The twitch has its origin in your father’s slap. You developed a defense mechanism that involved attempting to defend yourself against your father’s blow, even when he only threatened to deliver it. You used to put your arm up to protect your face. Do you remember that?

Ted: Yes I do.

Spirit: When you entered adolescence, you repeated your role in the family among your peers. By the time you were thirteen or so, you developed a twitch to ward off the potential blow of receiving a social insult; and because you have such low self esteem, you often project rejection on those around you. You seldom twitch when you’re alone, except when you imagine being rejected. Even though you have worked on your self-esteem, you may need more professional help to crack this problem. In the meantime, please continue to work on not comparing your level of success to your brother’s. He is on a different soul path; and, yours is equally special.

The Message in Priscilla’s Vertigo

Priscilla from San Francisco, CA writes:

Dear Spirit: I have been experiencing some vertigo for the past month; and I am wondering why it has come at this time. I have been to see my doctor and he can’t seem to find any physiological basis for my problem. Can you tell me what is happening?

-Priscilla S.

Spirit: The soul message encoded in the symptom concerns your feeling of falling from a height. Is there any experience you’ve been having that makes you feel you have fallen from grace?

Priscilla: There is only one I can think of. My ex husband is coming to town to be present at our son’s wedding. He left me years ago for a woman our son’s age; and, from what I understand, she will be joining him. I have spent so many years working through this issue – I would think I would be over it by now.

Spirit: You have basically moved past this trauma; and yet, there is a part of you that still feels as if when he left, he took everything with him – including your self respect. Of course, your feminine grace is still intact: yet, you tend to be attracted to men who carry the Eternal Youth archetype. And those who do not deal with the shadow side of it are notorious for the kind of behavior your husband displayed when he chose his current wife. Of course, not all men are like that. Still, when you imagine yourself through the eyes of the wedding guests, you project your feelings of tragic downfall onto them.

Priscilla: So, that’s the message in the vertigo?

Spirit: Yes. And if you work on remembering that your true grace can never be taken from you – you can come out of your vertigo in time for the wedding.

Why David’s Lipoma Grows Back

David from Chicago, IL writes:

Dear Spirit, I have a lipoma on my right shoulder blade that has grown back twice; and I am considering having it removed again. Is there an underlying issue I need to work on to prevent it from recurring??

-David T.

Spirit: Yes; soul’s humor is at work in this case. You have a ‘chip on your shoulder’. Do you know what it’s regarding?

David: I’m not sure.

Spirit: Even though on a conscious level you are optimistic, you have a subconscious tendency to experience your life as a burden

David: The subconscious part sounds like my Father.

Spirit: Yes it does.

David: What can I do to turn it around?

Spirit: You just took the first step: that of recognizing you are repeating you Father’s pattern of depression. The second is to work on healing the way you parent yourself.

David: How do you mean?

Spirit: When you were a boy, you decided you did not want to follow in your Father’s footsteps. In the process, you inadvertently taught yourself to use your basic optimism to hide your painful feelings.

David: What else can I do to deal with them?

Spirit: It would be good to get some professional help to support you in working through them. In the meantime, you can start by understanding that feeling depressed does not mean you are a failure – or that it will attract failure to you as you work to heal it.

Of course, your tendency to grow lipomas is also genetic. Didn’t your Father have several on his back?

David: Yes he did.

Spirit: To the extent that lipomas are an expression of emotional distress, you can see that you are way ahead of where your Father got stuck.

Diet also plays a role in why they form. In fact, it would be good to consult with an excellent nutritionist to help you find a balanced diet. Until then, you can start by eliminating trans fats.

The final factor in your success lies with your choice of surgeons. This time, make sure you choose one with sufficient skill to pull that old chip on your shoulder out by the root.

Relationship Week – The Damsel In Distress

Monday, September 21st, 2009

Nancy from Los Angeles, CA wrote in:

Dear Spirit, I am writing to ask you why I am still so sad about the end of my affair with an older man. It has been almost ten years; and, I still cry at night over him. Do I have a past life with him?

-Nancy L.

Spirit: The man in question was not a past life connection, though your souls did meet in a love dance. Of course, the connection was rather brief because you fell into your pattern of begging him to save you. Of course, you did not beg him verbally; yet, your energy spoke volumes. You are still sad for several reasons: For one, you have not found a suitable replacement; for another, he emobodies the characteristics you would like to integrate in yourself. In that sense, he mirrors your Inner Male. And, like most women, you tend to magnetize men who repeat the negative side of your father pattern. Your father was inwardly critical of your feelings of helplessness. So you have attracted men who do the same.

There are still many women who succumb to playing the role of the ‘Damsel in Distress’ in order to attract the ‘Savior’ in the man they are with. So, please don’t blame yourself for falling into that trap.

Nancy: How can I stop myself from doing it again?

Spirit: Start by recognizing that you grew up in a culture where you were taught to believe that strong women would be rejected by men. These days, since women have become liberated and most households require a dual income, the ‘Damsel in Distress’ no longer appeals as a love object to most men. And, most women are glad to be relieved of the experience of helplessness that lies at the root of it. So, work on letting go of your antiquated belief system.

Questions to ask yourself:

Women: Do you still feel like a ‘damsel in distress’ at least some of the time? If so, what would it take to help the ‘damsel’ in you feel safe? Share your answers below.

Men: Do you know any women who embody the ‘Damsel in Distress’? If so, how do you feel about saving them? Share your answers below.

A Closet Bigamist

Tania from Atlanta, GA wrote in:

Dear Spirit, I am writing you in a moment of despair. I went through with a blessing ceremony in France, even though my — should I call him ‘husband’? — told me the night before he was still married to a woman he promised me he had divorced.  He spends several months a year in Canada with her, and the rest of his time with me.   He insists he stays in Canada because of his children, and promises to get a divorce – but never follows through.  Does he intend to?  Why hasn’t he kept his word?

-Tania R.

Spirit: Your husband is a bigamist. He lives abroad in order to be with his wife, as well as his children. His case is rather extreme in the sense that he does not know how to leave either of you. He has two very distinct sides to his personality. He portrays the side of him that is still childlike and despondent with her; and with you, he plays the role of detached, elegant gentleman. He feels more at home with her, even though they have an unhealthy attachment. With you, he feels free to be more grown up.

Did his mother ever abandon him that you know of?

Tania: Yes. She attempted suicide when he was seventeen. He is the one who found her and saved her life.

Spirit: That incident is a large part of the reason that your husband became split between his rage at women and his need for their love. He also decided he would never allow himself to feel so much pain again. At this time, you live with his angry, detached adult self; and, his other wife lives with his emotional, childlike side who seeks approval. She knows about you and accepts the situation, while you continue to insist he divorce her and legally marry you. At this time, he does not really intend to do so.

Tania: Why am I afraid to walk away?

Spirit: The obvious reason is you are afraid you will never meet another man you can love who also loves you

Tania: That’s true.

Spirit: Do you know why that is?

Tania: I have a series of failed relationships in my past. And, I am getting older.

Spirit: That is because you are repeating your mother’s pattern with your father. Though your Father did not split his life between two wives, he had a mistress with whom he was more intimate emotionally.

Tania: How can I transcend this pattern?

Spirit: The problem is rooted in your subconscious. In a nutshell, the Inner Girl in you is afraid to let ‘Daddy’  ( or his stand in) go – even though he is emotionally unavailable.. It would be best to get some professional help to do the release work on this.  ‘Then, I suspect, it will be easy for you to walk away from the ‘no win’ situation you are in, and find a man who is really there for you.

Pet Week – Zeus’s Sorrow

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

Christina from San Francisco wrote in:

Dear Spirit, my cat, Zeus, has been diagnosed with cancer. Can you tell me if he is close to his transition?

-Christina C.

Spirit: Zeus is nearing the time of his transition; and, he needs you to accept the fact that he can’t stay with you much longer.

Christina: Is he in pain?

Spirit: He is not in pain per se, although he does feel uncomfortable in his body.

Christina: I want to ask you another question: Zeus is highly emotional; do his emotions have anything to do with his cancer?

Spirit: Tell me first what you feel about it.

Christina: Zeus is very close to me. He always sits in the chair I sit in. When I get upset, he gets upset. When I’m feeling anxious, he seems anxious. When I cry, he comes up and pushes on me.

Spirit: Yes, he wants you to stop crying over the man in your life. He feels indignant that you don’t recognize him as your most significant other.

Christina: I’m sorry he’s had a hard time being second to my boyfriend. What can I do to help him with that?

Spirit: Let him know how much he means to you. It is his sorrow in life that he wasn’t born a human male.

Christina: Was I wrong to have him spayed?

Spirit: Really not. Zeus did not come in to roam the streets and repeat his ancestral pattern of fighting and mating out of instinct. He came on a soul adventure to fall in love, and be changed by the experience. His love for you is the reason he has evolved to such a high degree. Do you remember why you named him Zeus?

Christina: I was taking a class in mythology; and Zeus was the name of a Greek god.

Spirit: He was also known for being the father of Athena, Goddess of Wisdom.

Christina: That’s right. Didn’t Athena spring from Zeus’a head?

Spirit: Yes. Symbolically, that means she was his fantasy woman. In a sense, when you named Zeus, you were telling yourself a part of your story with him. Zeus had the gift of bringing out the Athena in you.

Christina: He always did.

Spirit: In that sense, he was like a soul father to you.

Christina: Is that why I feel so sad?

Spirit: Yes, that’s part of it. It would be good to let him know about this part of your story together. That will help him let go of the feeling of unworthiness he internalized because he couldn’t be your man.

Christina: Thank you for your help.

Spirit: That share would be a bonus. You have already helped him tremendously..

Becoming Cinnamon’s Friend

Andrea from Los Angeles wrote in:

Dear Spirit, can you tell me why my horse, Cinnamon, has been snubbing me lately?

-Andrea T.

Spirit: Cinnamon is upset with you because you stopped giving him a treat when you ride him. Is that true?

Andrea: Yes, I don’t want him to like me just for my carrots. And the trainer told me not to spoil him.

Spirit: His perspective on things is a little different. I understand that you feel slighted when he doesn’t welcome you. Yet, you need to understand that he feels slighted when you don’t offer him something of equal value to the service he feels he provides for you. His service is the rides he gives to earn a living, and carrots are his currency. So, if you bring him a surplus of carrots each time you visit, he will undoubtedly be happy to see you each time.

Andrea: Can I ask you another question?

Spirit: Yes.

Andrea: Why did he nip me the other day?

Spirit: Has he ever nipped you before?

Andrea: Yes he has, at least once or twice.

Spirit: Do you have an idea why?

Andrea: Maybe because I don’t do the best job getting him ready.

Spirit: I can tell you that, when you harness him, you tend to use too much force. If you are willing to place your thumb and index finger in his mouth, the bit should slip on quite a bit easier.

Andrea: I’m a little scared to do that.

Spirit: Then ask your trainer to help you, until you are confident in your ability to harness him.

Andrea: I guess I could do that.

Spirit: And always remember to give him a treat.

Women’s Week – The Oldie and the Hottie

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

Jane Ellen from Los Angeles wrote in:

Dear Spirit, I would like to ask you about the current trend of older men and much younger women partnering.

As an older woman, I can tell you it is strange to walk into a room without being looked at as dating material by men of your peer group. I have several single women friends who share this experience. We all look young for our age, are in excellent shape and very vital. Of course, it cannot be healthy for younger women to grow up with the expectation that their beauty will be obsolete by the time they are 40 – and to fear their youthful same age marriage will end with their husband trading them in for a younger model. To me, the worst feature of this scene is women’s silence on the subject.

Is this a passing phase? Or, is it the way of the future?

-Jane Ellen

Spirit: If women do not accept it, then it will be a passing fantasy. Curiously, the younger woman who indulges the older man – or seeks him out, is in the sexist position.

Jane Ellen: How so?

Spirit: She sees her youthful beauty as a way to get her need for economic security handled, as well as a guarantee that she will remain viable.

Part of the issue is panic buying due to the post 9/11 economy. Most women naturally prefer a sexual partner who is not old enough – or nearly so, to be their father.

The men who seek much younger women are indulging their Eternal Youth fantasy, and acting out their aging trauma by rejecting the women of their generation as mates – as well as refusing the lesson of the Sage.

Jane Ellen: Which is?

Spirit: True power is spiritual, and beauty is not skin deep. In fact, the timeless beauty the Sage is here to connect with is his Inner Feminine, who is there to guide him on his soul journey – beyond ego – to the next stage of self realization.

What Freud would Say

There is yet another dimension to this problem. The incest pattern Freud described as the ‘Oedipus Complex’ needs healing. In that sense, the increase in Father-Daughter age pairings is auspicious.

Jane EllenHow so?

Spirit: When the Unconscious is at work to bring change, it will intensify an issue in order to get the attention of the Conscious Mind, as if to say: ‘What is the problem with this picture?’

In this case, the incest drama played out in the home – psychologically, if not sexually, is being portrayed on the stage of the glamour magazines. Most of the younger women who strike this bargain become parentified daughters who are there to stroke ‘daddy’s’ ego and be his trophy doll in exchange for the keys to his kingdom.

Jane Ellen: What is the cure?

Spirit: Economic independence is certainly a key, as is women’s solidarity. Historically, women have been imprinted to compete for alpha men. Yet history is in a flow of change from patriarchy to a co-equal society in which the ‘Double Standard’ is here to be supplanted by the ‘Golden Rule’.

Questions To Ask Yourself

  1. How much has your choice of a mate or mates been determined by economic necessity? If you were free of the concern, would you be living differently?
  2. Have you ever been left for a younger women – or, been afraid it might happen? If so, were you part of the problem?
  3. Have you ever been with a much older man? If so, did you have a job description other than helping him to remain youthful?
  4. How do you feel about the way women are viewed over the issue of their age? Does it disturb you? If so, what do you think women can do to change it?

Reccomended Reading

  • Leaving My Father’s House: A Journey to Conscious Femininity, By Marion Woodmam
  • The wounded Woman: Healing the Father Daughter Relationship, By Linda Schierse Leonard, Ph.D.

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